it had started to rain, but we didnt care
every word that was spoken held onto the air
i'm on my 3rd go around on the same mixtape i made myself and titled the best title ever. and i feel lonely. when i'm lonely i get artsy. when i get artsy i get sad and try to figure my life out. that gets me stressed which leads to thinking that my life is a waste of time and oxygen and that i should just stop trying to get somewhere in this fucked up world because i'm not going to get far. and when that happens i decide not to go to college. ever. and be a artist-writer-and photographer and live off of what i make and not worry about money or having food. worry about my art and my words and my pictures because all that means the world to me.

[today i lost one of my sprials. it had notes.thoughts.songs.poems.little pictures.wishes.dreams.everything i ever think of in it. and i couldn't breath and i ran around the house throwing things out of the way trying to find it. --my words mean the world to me--]

< 2:26 a.m. on 2002-07-11 >